Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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