whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
