we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize