you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
