Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
