Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
