are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
