No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
