my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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