it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
