Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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