He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
