8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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