It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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