I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Randomize