I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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