Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
