bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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