i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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