stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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