so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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