Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just cropdusted the office
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Boobs speak an international language.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize