I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
