you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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