guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
