i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize