i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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