I heard we made out
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
PANTIES FOUND
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