You're a womanizer and a bitch.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
