i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
