I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize