Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
