and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
