if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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