Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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