She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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