For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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