your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize