i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
