There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
