Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
