$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
