so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Terrible idea I love it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
