She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
