I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
