and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize