Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
