she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
