Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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