Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
