I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
