I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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