i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
