Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
