Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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