There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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