Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
