Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
