PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
