Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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