Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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