and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
