I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I supernannyed him into submission
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
