"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
don't judge my taste in strippers
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
