There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
