Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
