we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
