Buhtt sex?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
