I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
