I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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