Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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